Thursday, February 12, 2009
Beneficial Extremities
My parents just made a deal: for every scholarship I enter, I get $20. How in the world does this make sense at all? I mean, in no way am I complaining at this ridiculous benefit for a benefit, of the same exact benefit...if you get the confusion my mind twists into. It's a benefit without even a guarantee for a benefit. And rather makes me sad that my parents are so desperate for me to be responsible that they stoop that low as to pay me twenty full dollars for just ENTERING a god damn scholarship. This night has ended with a full glass, warm hands, and motivation. Amen.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
"Cheese Whiz is Gross"
An interview with Aylo Stirus by Lehcar Snikwah
Q: What inspires you?
A: Trip-hop music… I like to trip out the center of my mind without drugs. I like different things.
Q: Describe your first memory of being in America?
A: Well Lehcar, you already know my story about water fountains in the airport… My mom took me to Toys R Us, and I think I peed my pants when I saw the Barbie section. I was coming from a country where everything you buy is behind the cashier and you can’t touch anything.
Q: Favorite word?
A: Saucisson (French for sausage), or soliloquy.
Q: If you could meet anyone in the world, dead or alive, who would you choose?
A: Nina Simone. She’s a jazz singer with an interesting history and is powerful in every sense of the word.
Q: Favorite meal?
A: Spaghetti and ketchup… “ghetti sghetti.” And the Russian picnic, which includes one potato cooked over fire, a pickle, and pork. I also love tempura udon… I eat it every week.
Q: What’s the one thing you wish you could do?
A: Sing.
Q: Who is your favorite celebrity and why?
A: I don’t have one favorite… I take things from different people. I love watching Angelina Jolie’s lips talk. I think Johnny Depp is a true artist, because when I watch his interviews he doesn’t seem like he’s forcing himself into Hollywood.
Q: What is a book you could read over and over?
A: Running With Scissors and Welcome to the Monkey House.
Q: What do you feel was the most moving part of your Personal Jesus project?
A: I thought about it very deeply. I think it was perfectly executed in terms of light composition. The whole Christianity thing blew my mind because it’s real.
Q: When eating a pizza, do you start with the crust, or the tip of the slice?
A: The tip… who the hell eats a pizza from the crust down? I put the cheese part down… Us Russians like to get all the flavor.
Q: Is yoga spiritual for you?
A: Yeah, fo sho. Every time I do it I feel totally refreshed. It’s like Buddha just slapped yo ass. That’s what yoga is.
Q: If you were an animal, would you be a big or little one?
A: A little one. I definitely love cats. There’s a kitty in all of us.
Q: Do you think Russians are unfairly portrayed?
A: Russians are a lot more advanced economically, mentally, and technologically than here. The education system cannot compare. It’s better that you guys don’t know how smart we are.
Q: When you be singing yo raps… do you think about the racist undertones coming out of your mouth?
A: Yeah, I majorly do. Whenever I hear “that’s so gay,” I want to take a dump on that person’s face. Every time I say “that’s retarded,” I feel horrible.
Q: Would you ever be a man for a day?
A: Yes, I feel very connected to men in a very weird way. I feel like I walk and talk like them sometimes. But I’m also attracted to them in a very gross way.
Q: How do you do like you do?
A: I never eat beef, I always give into my cravings, I do butt squats before bed, and when I feel like shit, I strip in front of my mirror. And then it’s all good.
Q: What’s your biggest fear about aging?
A: Double chin!
Q: Do you prefer men with short hair or long hair? Facial hair?
A: Long hair thing is sexy, but I don’t care that much, and I love facial hair.
Q: How do you hope to die?
A: Instantly… I wouldn’t want to be sick for a year. Painless and happy.
Q: If you had an out of body experience, what would you want to happen?
A: I would have sex with myself. Explosion times two! And the fact that you can’t do that tells you there is no magic in the fucking world. Did you write that I don’t like cheese whiz? Grassy ass.
Q: What inspires you?
A: Trip-hop music… I like to trip out the center of my mind without drugs. I like different things.
Q: Describe your first memory of being in America?
A: Well Lehcar, you already know my story about water fountains in the airport… My mom took me to Toys R Us, and I think I peed my pants when I saw the Barbie section. I was coming from a country where everything you buy is behind the cashier and you can’t touch anything.
Q: Favorite word?
A: Saucisson (French for sausage), or soliloquy.
Q: If you could meet anyone in the world, dead or alive, who would you choose?
A: Nina Simone. She’s a jazz singer with an interesting history and is powerful in every sense of the word.
Q: Favorite meal?
A: Spaghetti and ketchup… “ghetti sghetti.” And the Russian picnic, which includes one potato cooked over fire, a pickle, and pork. I also love tempura udon… I eat it every week.
Q: What’s the one thing you wish you could do?
A: Sing.
Q: Who is your favorite celebrity and why?
A: I don’t have one favorite… I take things from different people. I love watching Angelina Jolie’s lips talk. I think Johnny Depp is a true artist, because when I watch his interviews he doesn’t seem like he’s forcing himself into Hollywood.
Q: What is a book you could read over and over?
A: Running With Scissors and Welcome to the Monkey House.
Q: What do you feel was the most moving part of your Personal Jesus project?
A: I thought about it very deeply. I think it was perfectly executed in terms of light composition. The whole Christianity thing blew my mind because it’s real.
Q: When eating a pizza, do you start with the crust, or the tip of the slice?
A: The tip… who the hell eats a pizza from the crust down? I put the cheese part down… Us Russians like to get all the flavor.
Q: Is yoga spiritual for you?
A: Yeah, fo sho. Every time I do it I feel totally refreshed. It’s like Buddha just slapped yo ass. That’s what yoga is.
Q: If you were an animal, would you be a big or little one?
A: A little one. I definitely love cats. There’s a kitty in all of us.
Q: Do you think Russians are unfairly portrayed?
A: Russians are a lot more advanced economically, mentally, and technologically than here. The education system cannot compare. It’s better that you guys don’t know how smart we are.
Q: When you be singing yo raps… do you think about the racist undertones coming out of your mouth?
A: Yeah, I majorly do. Whenever I hear “that’s so gay,” I want to take a dump on that person’s face. Every time I say “that’s retarded,” I feel horrible.
Q: Would you ever be a man for a day?
A: Yes, I feel very connected to men in a very weird way. I feel like I walk and talk like them sometimes. But I’m also attracted to them in a very gross way.
Q: How do you do like you do?
A: I never eat beef, I always give into my cravings, I do butt squats before bed, and when I feel like shit, I strip in front of my mirror. And then it’s all good.
Q: What’s your biggest fear about aging?
A: Double chin!
Q: Do you prefer men with short hair or long hair? Facial hair?
A: Long hair thing is sexy, but I don’t care that much, and I love facial hair.
Q: How do you hope to die?
A: Instantly… I wouldn’t want to be sick for a year. Painless and happy.
Q: If you had an out of body experience, what would you want to happen?
A: I would have sex with myself. Explosion times two! And the fact that you can’t do that tells you there is no magic in the fucking world. Did you write that I don’t like cheese whiz? Grassy ass.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Octopus Dreaming
I feel irresistibly confident about the next few moments of my life.
Insecurity is like watching pain exuding from a person's mouth. The lack of confidence is painful and uncomfortable to be comfortable with. It's as if these little pieces of life are coming together, all at once. I must feel like a poet once again and no longer being restrained. Fulfilling that need, to no longer need. I am full. And that's all.
I must say this is an experience of believing in the unexpected. These last months will trickle away, and I'm going to breathe it in no matter the struggle. Even typing these words out doesn't give me much the pleasure of already being comfortable with the substitution of guilt.
My eyes have been giving away a lot that has been inside.
To discover is to run wildly into your own mind. Breathe from within your own belly, and open the doors that will calm you in the end. You do know, it turns out that you knew all along, so to repeat would be foolish, and you are no fool. Give a little, take a little, which is what I did, and have received a lot in return.
From now on I will wear everything I have been afraid to show off in public, for the pure celebration of life. I enjoy those moments in which I am floating in evanescence, like water, and my toes fall asleep. How peculiar that all these things occur so irrationally, and we get mad at everything's horrible timing, when we already know that this is already our novel to write and nobody else's. I won't praise any single idol in order to not withdraw my own self from wonder. And that is usually the case. I am rather small, but already squeeze into those shoes I have worn once in a far away dream. And it's all good, in this neighborhood.
Insecurity is like watching pain exuding from a person's mouth. The lack of confidence is painful and uncomfortable to be comfortable with. It's as if these little pieces of life are coming together, all at once. I must feel like a poet once again and no longer being restrained. Fulfilling that need, to no longer need. I am full. And that's all.
I must say this is an experience of believing in the unexpected. These last months will trickle away, and I'm going to breathe it in no matter the struggle. Even typing these words out doesn't give me much the pleasure of already being comfortable with the substitution of guilt.
My eyes have been giving away a lot that has been inside.
To discover is to run wildly into your own mind. Breathe from within your own belly, and open the doors that will calm you in the end. You do know, it turns out that you knew all along, so to repeat would be foolish, and you are no fool. Give a little, take a little, which is what I did, and have received a lot in return.
From now on I will wear everything I have been afraid to show off in public, for the pure celebration of life. I enjoy those moments in which I am floating in evanescence, like water, and my toes fall asleep. How peculiar that all these things occur so irrationally, and we get mad at everything's horrible timing, when we already know that this is already our novel to write and nobody else's. I won't praise any single idol in order to not withdraw my own self from wonder. And that is usually the case. I am rather small, but already squeeze into those shoes I have worn once in a far away dream. And it's all good, in this neighborhood.
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